A confession … or an excuse

My passion.  I keep it so wrapped up. I imagine it as a ball of aluminum foil locked away in a fireproof safe with a long forgotten password.  But the aluminum foil still picks up some type of electromagnetic signal from the atmosphere.  Now, I wish I had paid attention in science so I actually knew what I was rambling about.  

My passion is there — sizzling and tickling my brain.  It needs an escape, some type of pressure valve. I want relief. I want to be myself, but I no longer know how to achieve that.  I thought writing would be the answer but I believe it only antagonizes me because I am more aware of the passion I possess and I’m afraid to own it, be proud of it.  

Where do I go from here?

No Resolutions, No Mercy

I have never believed in making New Years’ resolutions, mostly to avoid the guilt that arises from lacking follow-through and the grueling self-inflicted beatings for my failures.  This year is no different — no resolutions made, but wishes have been tied to my imaginary “Wish Tree“.

1. Once a month, after the boys have been tucked in their beds, Wayne and I will enjoy a bottle of sparkling wine (Champagne if we’re feeling extravagant) and an assortment of tapas (inspired by our New Year’s Eve dinner at Tasca Brava).

2. My camera will become my best friend.  I will let “The Nik” capture the upcoming year without so much worry about getting the “perfect shot” — but just capturing the moment.  And that also means I will be appearing in more images thanks to the awesomely cool gift from my boys, a wireless remote shutter release! (Ordering my own Christmas present was a win/win for all involved!  You’re welcome, Wayne!)

3. Rekindle the passion.  Ummm, not what you’re thinking.  My relationship with Wayne is flaming hot … no worries there! I’m talking about being more passionate about my life.   Photography, writing, travel, food, wine, friends — I will let passion be my guide!  Watch OUT, world!!

4. Take care of myself!  This is not a wish, but a must! I give my best to the boys and Wayne every day.  It is time I give my best to myself, as well.

If you find that in a couple of months that my wishes are hanging tattered and torn, neglected and forgotten on my Wish Tree — don’t hesitate to give me a gentle nudge to revisit this post.  Depending on my mood, be prepared for a not so gentle Thank You full of expletives!